Hello fellow runners. I'm sorry I've been incognito for so long, but I wanted to wait to post anything until I had good news. Unfortunately, I don't have any good news to report yet. I've had a few trips to the ER, CAT scans, multiple specialist consults and they still can't figure out what's wrong with me or why I seem to be bleeding from places I shouldn't be. I'm still in a ton of pain and I'm starting to develop a tolerance/dependence on these strong narcotics they have me taking. The drugs are a good time, though, and sort of compensate for the pain, er...but not really.
I still dream of lacing up my shoes and hitting the trails. I have hope that I'll still be able to participate in the Shamrock Shuffle 5K, even if it means walking or volunteering. I have similar hopes for the 1/2 marathon I was supposed to run on April 14th; at this point I really want to be able to run the 5K instead but if I can't do that, I'll be happy to volunteer. Running is the one thing that keeps me balanced and I feel so off-kilter without it these last few weeks.
I'm trying to keep a positive spin on everything, but it's hard to think clearly through a narcotic induced haze. The lack of a diagnosis makes me fatalistic and bitter. I'm realizing how quickly pain turns into anger as I see myself lash out at people I love and withdraw into my own private world of coping. I deny any offer of help because I'm so used to being a fierce, independent single woman and it's hard to admit that I do need a helping hand. Everyone does once in a while.
So keep on running the miles out there. I'm wishing I were out there with you. Hopefully, I will be soon.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
Confirmed
It's official. I have a kidney stone. This is actually my 3rd so the process is not new. However, the last one had me out of commission for over 2 weeks, involving multiple surgeries and trips to specialists and lots of Vicodin. Hopefully this one won't be as bad but I think I have to put up my running shoes for a little while, at least until this thing is out of my body. If I have to have surgery again, probably even longer.
I am devastated. I think my hopes of running the half marathon on April 14th are slowly slipping away and I couldn't be more upset about it. I know, I know. There will be other races but I've just been so determined and focused up until now. But I understand how important it is to be healthy while in training so if backing off or stopping completely for a while will get me back there, so be it.
Hopefully the next post will be good news.
I am devastated. I think my hopes of running the half marathon on April 14th are slowly slipping away and I couldn't be more upset about it. I know, I know. There will be other races but I've just been so determined and focused up until now. But I understand how important it is to be healthy while in training so if backing off or stopping completely for a while will get me back there, so be it.
Hopefully the next post will be good news.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Week from hell
Alright. I'm just going to level with you here. It's been one hell of a bad week. Somehow I managed to get most of my miles in but I have to write this all out, lest I forget and beat myself up later for not running all of the miles on my schedule.
Here goes..
Sunday: This is my normal rest day so I wasn't too concerned about missing any runs when I had a major emotional meltdown. I prefer not to elaborate on the details but it was a long time coming and I still don't think I've quite worked it all out yet, even a week later. What I have learned from this is that it's very hard for me to keep on my running schedule when I'm depressed. Moving on.
Monday: Still wallowing around in my emotional crisis. Went home a popped a couple percocet (they are legit, prescribed for my root canal. The pain probably wasn't so bad as to warrant narcotics on Monday and for this I'm not proud but it's just been that kind of week).
Tuesday: Major snow storm hit my little corner of the world so I decided to run on the treadmill at work. 3.5 miles, easy. Then I got in my car to drive home. 4.5 hours later, I finally got there. That's right. It took me 4.5 hours to cover what normally takes 35 minutes. Enter emotional breakdown #2. I was stuck in snowy awful traffic that didn't move for hours with pain in my jaw so intense I started crying and laughing hysterically at the fact I didn't have any ibuprofen with me.
Wednesday: You know you're having a bad week when the good part of your week is a root canal. Luckily, I got the gas which was FUN. So yes, the root canal was the highlight of my week. Me, being the stupid person I am, left the entodontists office and went across the street to the gym to get my 2 miles in. I almost fell of the damn treadmill because I was still sort of loopy from all the gas and such, but dammit I did it.
Thursday: rest day. All drugged up on Tylenol #3 and feeling like crap.
Friday: 3.5 miles at the gym. I had a weird dizzy spell somewhere around mile 2 and had to stop and actually sit down while the world stopped spinning. I'm really hoping this is residue of the root canal because I can't take something else going wrong with my body. I just can't.
Saturday: It actually warmed up a little to the low 20's so I decided to break out the Under Armour and hit the trails. The first mile was rough. It was freaking freezing, colder than I expected. I was running so slow I'm sure walking would have been faster. Finally around mile 2 I started feeling better but my muscles were still so tight. When I got to my half way turn around point, I stretched out a little bit, thinking it would do me good but it only made me colder and tighter. Then at mile 3, I had to go to the bathroom. And bad. I thought about squatting in the woods but this is me we're talking about and knowing my luck, my ass would get frozen to a tree or something. So I deiced to keep going but running only made it worse so I had to walk a lot of mile 3 and half of mile 4. I ran the last mile and a half, unable to feel most of my body, really needing to get to a toilet and not really caring that my coveted Saturday long run was a total bust. This whole flipping week has been a bust.
Sunday: Rest day. And it's a good thing too because I think I'm on the verge of a kidney stone. Good thing I have some of that Tylenol #3 left over from my root canal.
Total miles for the week: 14 (should have been 18)
Here's to a better week ahead.
Here goes..
Sunday: This is my normal rest day so I wasn't too concerned about missing any runs when I had a major emotional meltdown. I prefer not to elaborate on the details but it was a long time coming and I still don't think I've quite worked it all out yet, even a week later. What I have learned from this is that it's very hard for me to keep on my running schedule when I'm depressed. Moving on.
Monday: Still wallowing around in my emotional crisis. Went home a popped a couple percocet (they are legit, prescribed for my root canal. The pain probably wasn't so bad as to warrant narcotics on Monday and for this I'm not proud but it's just been that kind of week).
Tuesday: Major snow storm hit my little corner of the world so I decided to run on the treadmill at work. 3.5 miles, easy. Then I got in my car to drive home. 4.5 hours later, I finally got there. That's right. It took me 4.5 hours to cover what normally takes 35 minutes. Enter emotional breakdown #2. I was stuck in snowy awful traffic that didn't move for hours with pain in my jaw so intense I started crying and laughing hysterically at the fact I didn't have any ibuprofen with me.
Wednesday: You know you're having a bad week when the good part of your week is a root canal. Luckily, I got the gas which was FUN. So yes, the root canal was the highlight of my week. Me, being the stupid person I am, left the entodontists office and went across the street to the gym to get my 2 miles in. I almost fell of the damn treadmill because I was still sort of loopy from all the gas and such, but dammit I did it.
Thursday: rest day. All drugged up on Tylenol #3 and feeling like crap.
Friday: 3.5 miles at the gym. I had a weird dizzy spell somewhere around mile 2 and had to stop and actually sit down while the world stopped spinning. I'm really hoping this is residue of the root canal because I can't take something else going wrong with my body. I just can't.
Saturday: It actually warmed up a little to the low 20's so I decided to break out the Under Armour and hit the trails. The first mile was rough. It was freaking freezing, colder than I expected. I was running so slow I'm sure walking would have been faster. Finally around mile 2 I started feeling better but my muscles were still so tight. When I got to my half way turn around point, I stretched out a little bit, thinking it would do me good but it only made me colder and tighter. Then at mile 3, I had to go to the bathroom. And bad. I thought about squatting in the woods but this is me we're talking about and knowing my luck, my ass would get frozen to a tree or something. So I deiced to keep going but running only made it worse so I had to walk a lot of mile 3 and half of mile 4. I ran the last mile and a half, unable to feel most of my body, really needing to get to a toilet and not really caring that my coveted Saturday long run was a total bust. This whole flipping week has been a bust.
Sunday: Rest day. And it's a good thing too because I think I'm on the verge of a kidney stone. Good thing I have some of that Tylenol #3 left over from my root canal.
Total miles for the week: 14 (should have been 18)
Here's to a better week ahead.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
weekend
My training schedule calls for cross training on Fridays. However, I didn't feel like going to the gym on Friday after work to sit on a bike or on eliptical trainer for 30 minutes. Instead, I ran/walked on the treadmill at work. I didn't push it, knowing I had a long run scheduled for the next morning. I wasn't thrilled about running and being all sweaty and gross in front of coworkers but there could be worse things.
Friday: 30 minutes walking and running
Saturday: 4 miles, TM, 10.20/average pace.
I had a really good run on Saturday, despite it happening on a treadmill and despite the fact that I put it off until about 8.00 on a Saturday night. The gym was dead so I had the place pretty much to myself. My legs felt really strong throughout and I felt like I could have gone longer than the 4 miles my schedule called for. I'm extremely grateful that this run went so well because my running this week has felt so forced. I think this is due in part to the fact that my cycle started this week and I have a mild case of the winter blues. Saturday's run going so well gives me a little bit more enthusiasm and confidence for the week ahead.
Total miles for the week: 15
Strength training sessions: 1
Friday: 30 minutes walking and running
Saturday: 4 miles, TM, 10.20/average pace.
I had a really good run on Saturday, despite it happening on a treadmill and despite the fact that I put it off until about 8.00 on a Saturday night. The gym was dead so I had the place pretty much to myself. My legs felt really strong throughout and I felt like I could have gone longer than the 4 miles my schedule called for. I'm extremely grateful that this run went so well because my running this week has felt so forced. I think this is due in part to the fact that my cycle started this week and I have a mild case of the winter blues. Saturday's run going so well gives me a little bit more enthusiasm and confidence for the week ahead.
Total miles for the week: 15
Strength training sessions: 1
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