When Dostoevsky wrote "The Idiot" he was writing about me.

Ran with the Boy Toy today. This is a new development in the never-ending saga of my romantic life. Not that there's really all that much to tell. I saw him Sunday running the marathon, or rather, we both saw each other at the exact same moment. So I texted him later in the day to congratulate him on his PR, one thing led to another, and the next thing I know, we're meeting for a run in the park today. I was apprehensive because:

• I was 15lbs lighter the last time I saw him
• I'd told him I was sick over the summer and that's why I hadn't been running, so naturally when he asked what I'd come down with, I blurted out "depression and anxiety" which I immediately regretted because I fear he thinks it might have had something to with him since we broke up in the middle of all that, but really it had nothing to do with him at all. Le sigh.
• And because I haven't been back to running for all that long, I still suck wind the entire time so I looked like a total douche trying to keep up with him and talk "comfortably" all while clocking 10:20 miles (again, still not fast but I'm not quite back to that level yet)
• Oh, and the whole ex-boyfriend issue.
• It didn't come up. We just talked, caught up, yadda yadda.
• and we're running together again on Saturday.
• Am I a masochist or what?

So that's my running experience for today. I had fun running with him today. I really did. However it's a bit confusing to go from boyfriend/girlfriend to just "friends." I'm doing my best not reading into it but...meh. Whatever. Boyz r dum. But hey, I got 4 miles out of it at a 10:20 pace and I didn't die so that's good, right? I don't think he even broke a sweat. Grrr.