OK.
I'm going to run today.
I AM going to run today.
I am going to RUN today.
I am going to run TODAY.
I am going to put on my shoes and my shorts and my shirt and my little black visor that is the best little black visor a girl could wish for. I'm going to strap my Garmin to my left wrist, charge my ipod, and step out the front door. Then I will run. I will run for 4 miles. And then I will stop. I will stop running, come back to my apartment, take a shower and report my accomplishment.
Sometimes it takes a little visualization.
Showing posts with label Myself and I. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Myself and I. Show all posts
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Pierced
I did this to myself this afternoon:
Well, technically, Mike down at Pierceology did it but I paid him to do it. Why? you might ask. I think this question might best be answered by a reenactment of a conversation I had with Myself shortly after my Monday Meltdown.
Myself: Everything sucks.
I: Yeah, I know.
Myself: I hate my job.
I: Yeah
Myself: And my boss
I: Totally, she's a douche.
Myself: And things are probably over with the Boy Toy.
I: You were too good for him anyway.
Myself: And it's going to be February for the rest of my life.
I: Probably is.
Myself: I want to do something crazy.
I: Crazy?
Myself: Yeah, like irrational and rebellious and impulsive!
I: Like what?
Myself: Like go all Brittany and shave my head.
I: Or....?
Myself: Or quit my job and sell everything I own on e-bay and become a vagabond.
I: Or...?
Myself: Or get that piercing I've been talking about for years.
I: Now you're talkin'
Myself: Yeah! Stick it to 'The Man'!
So, I took Myself down to the piercing place and got some holes poked in my head. Rational? No. Wise? Of course not. Necessary? Absolutely.
This is not my first piercing by any means. I've already got 3 holes in each ear, I had my tongue pierced in 1997 and I just took that one out about 6 months ago because I had a teeth cleaning and never bothered to put it back in. Bummer. I also had my nose pierced in 2002 to but had to take it out for some job I was doing at the time. This is my subtle way of telling 'The Man' that an earring is not going to affect how well I am able to do my job. That no 'corporation' is going to tell me what I can and cannot do with my own ear. Sure it's unprofessional, but so am I! This 8-5 job is a paycheck, not a lifestyle
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Conversations With Myself During a 20 Mile Run, As Told in 3 Acts
Act 1
I: Good morning!
Myself: Bite me.
I: Nice, I see we have a long day ahead of us. What's up your butt?
Myself: I feel like I'm going to hurl, I forgot to charge my Garmin last night and I hit and killed a raccoon on my way to the stupid park this morning.
I: I'm so sorry you've had a rough start to the morning. Let's get our legs moving and all will be better in no time!
Myself: Whatever.
Act 2
Myself: I feel like I'm going to hurl.
I: Let's try and get your mind off it. Let's sing a song.
Myself: Dork.
I: How about some....Timbaland. You like him, right? "If you see us in the club...we'll be something something...if you see us on the floor we'll be rockin' something something. We ain't here to somthing...giveittomegiveittome"
Myself: Shut up! You don't even know the words!
I: Sing along! It's fun. Who cares if people are staring??
Myself: I seriously have to puke...
I: Good morning!
Myself: Bite me.
I: Nice, I see we have a long day ahead of us. What's up your butt?
Myself: I feel like I'm going to hurl, I forgot to charge my Garmin last night and I hit and killed a raccoon on my way to the stupid park this morning.
I: I'm so sorry you've had a rough start to the morning. Let's get our legs moving and all will be better in no time!
Myself: Whatever.
Act 2
Myself: I feel like I'm going to hurl.
I: Let's try and get your mind off it. Let's sing a song.
Myself: Dork.
I: How about some....Timbaland. You like him, right? "If you see us in the club...we'll be something something...if you see us on the floor we'll be rockin' something something. We ain't here to somthing...giveittomegiveittome"
Myself: Shut up! You don't even know the words!
I: Sing along! It's fun. Who cares if people are staring??
Myself: I seriously have to puke...
~Intermission~
barfbarfbarfbarfbarfbarfbarfbarfbarf
Act Three:
I: Well, that was fun
Myself: Go to hell
I: C'mon. We've gotten it out of our system now. Let's make the most of the miles we have left and the beautiful day.
Myself: Whatever.
I: Listen hear you little pissant! I'm tired of listening to your whiny butt complain and complain and 'Oh I want to stop, I can't do this,' blah blah blah. Pick you feet up off the ground and MOVE you MAGGOT. Did you hear me? I said MOVE!
Myself: Uh....
I: This is the last long run we have to do. This is it! The last one. Are you going to sit there in your own puddle of self-pitying nonsense and make this LAST and most important run, the one you've been building up to for ONE YEAR, a total bust? Get off your sorry ass and MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!
Myself: Ok ok! Sheesh. Someone's in a bad mood.
20 miles: 4hrs 14 minutes, including the, uh, intermission.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
The Power of Negative Thinking
I started this morning before 7:00am. I knew it was going to be another hot one and I'd planned accordingly. I had enough water in my body, around my waist and hidden in bushes along my route to get me through the 12 miles Hal told me to run this morning. My plan was to divide the run into 3 parts: the first 4 miles would be easy at a comfortable 11:00/mpm. The following 4 miles would be ramped up to a 10:45/mpm and I'd finish the run with the last 4 miles at 10:30mpm (or as close as I could get to it, depending on how I felt).
I started out perfectly. Each mile came effortlessly at 11:00mpm and I thought I'd have a great run ahead of me. My legs felt fresh, my lungs open, my spirit ready to fly...
At exactly mile 3.5, I heard some runners coming up behind me. No problem, I thought to myself. Runners pass me all the time. I moved over to the side of the bike path so they'd be sure to have enough room to pass me. I thought I heard about 4 or 5 of them behind me but I counted 5, then 10, then 20, then I lost count and concentrated on not getting trampled. I recognized some of them as belonging to a local marathon training group that often does group runs along the same path on Saturday mornings. I smiled and waved hello as they passed and kept on my po-dunk little pace.
A few minutes went by until I heard another wave of the group coming up behind me. I turned around to see how many there were and I couldn't even see the end there were so many! I decided to hop off the trail on to the grass to be sure I was out of their way.
After the second wave passed, a third and a fourth went whizzing past me. By this time, I'd talked myself into such a stinking hole of self loathing, it's a wonder how I ever managed to finish all 12 miles. Myself and I had another conversation around mile 4 that went something like this:
Myself: You're too slow.
I: I know
Myself: And you're pretty fat.
I: Yeah, I know.
Myself: And you're ugly.
I: I know.
Myself: And that's why no man will ever date you.
I: Well, that makes sense.
Myself: So what are you doing out here anyway?
I: Huh?
Myself: I mean, running!
I: I don't know.
Myself: They are the real runners!
I: I know.
Myself: Who do you think you're kidding?
I: I don't know.
Myself: You suck!
I: I know.
Myself: You should quit.
I: Ok.
I was minding my own business, wallowing around in my own self pity when out of nowhere, one of the girls whizzing by elbowed me smack in the middle of the chest. The force was so blunt and so brutal that it sent me flying off the bike path and knocked the wind right out of me. It took me a few minutes to catch my breath and recover but when I did, she and the rest of her cohort were long gone. I doubt she even noticed she did it.
Feeling utterly defeated and beat up, I headed back towards my car. Myself was right, I didn't belong out there.
But when I got close to my car, I kept running. Eight miles later, I stopped. I'm not sure what kept my legs going out there today and those eight miles were anything but pretty (nowhere near the paces I wanted them to be), but they're in the books. I was never so happy to see a run come to an end as I was today and for a little while I contemplated quiting my training altogether. I've never had a run turn into such a mess of self deprecating negative self talk as was today and, I have to say, I hated it.
I haven't quit, and I won't, but today was a scary experience. I'm not sure where all that stems from (I know it wasn't all the people passing me, that happens all the time!) but I'd like to get to the root of it so I know how to more effectively deal with it should I be surprised with it again.
I started out perfectly. Each mile came effortlessly at 11:00mpm and I thought I'd have a great run ahead of me. My legs felt fresh, my lungs open, my spirit ready to fly...
At exactly mile 3.5, I heard some runners coming up behind me. No problem, I thought to myself. Runners pass me all the time. I moved over to the side of the bike path so they'd be sure to have enough room to pass me. I thought I heard about 4 or 5 of them behind me but I counted 5, then 10, then 20, then I lost count and concentrated on not getting trampled. I recognized some of them as belonging to a local marathon training group that often does group runs along the same path on Saturday mornings. I smiled and waved hello as they passed and kept on my po-dunk little pace.
A few minutes went by until I heard another wave of the group coming up behind me. I turned around to see how many there were and I couldn't even see the end there were so many! I decided to hop off the trail on to the grass to be sure I was out of their way.
After the second wave passed, a third and a fourth went whizzing past me. By this time, I'd talked myself into such a stinking hole of self loathing, it's a wonder how I ever managed to finish all 12 miles. Myself and I had another conversation around mile 4 that went something like this:
Myself: You're too slow.
I: I know
Myself: And you're pretty fat.
I: Yeah, I know.
Myself: And you're ugly.
I: I know.
Myself: And that's why no man will ever date you.
I: Well, that makes sense.
Myself: So what are you doing out here anyway?
I: Huh?
Myself: I mean, running!
I: I don't know.
Myself: They are the real runners!
I: I know.
Myself: Who do you think you're kidding?
I: I don't know.
Myself: You suck!
I: I know.
Myself: You should quit.
I: Ok.
I was minding my own business, wallowing around in my own self pity when out of nowhere, one of the girls whizzing by elbowed me smack in the middle of the chest. The force was so blunt and so brutal that it sent me flying off the bike path and knocked the wind right out of me. It took me a few minutes to catch my breath and recover but when I did, she and the rest of her cohort were long gone. I doubt she even noticed she did it.
Feeling utterly defeated and beat up, I headed back towards my car. Myself was right, I didn't belong out there.
But when I got close to my car, I kept running. Eight miles later, I stopped. I'm not sure what kept my legs going out there today and those eight miles were anything but pretty (nowhere near the paces I wanted them to be), but they're in the books. I was never so happy to see a run come to an end as I was today and for a little while I contemplated quiting my training altogether. I've never had a run turn into such a mess of self deprecating negative self talk as was today and, I have to say, I hated it.
I haven't quit, and I won't, but today was a scary experience. I'm not sure where all that stems from (I know it wasn't all the people passing me, that happens all the time!) but I'd like to get to the root of it so I know how to more effectively deal with it should I be surprised with it again.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
On Consoling Myself
Ok, this is why having a Wednesday off is a total crapper. Thursday feels like Monday so it's really like having TWO Mondays in one week. Guess who had a case of the Mondays today?
Yeah, yeah. I'm complaining about having a paid holiday. Moving on.
I had a somewhat better tempo run yesterday than my first try. I got all six miles in (though the last one, or, cool down mile wasn't pretty) and kept the middle 4 at a pretty steady pace between 9:45 and 10:00. I had to make more stops than I would have liked due to (what else?) the heat and humidity to catch my breath but I've decided to go easy on myself. Beating myself up over taking a break isn't going to help anything.
So I give myself a much needed hug and head out the door for an easy easy easy 3.
Until Saturday my fellow runners and friends....
Yeah, yeah. I'm complaining about having a paid holiday. Moving on.
I had a somewhat better tempo run yesterday than my first try. I got all six miles in (though the last one, or, cool down mile wasn't pretty) and kept the middle 4 at a pretty steady pace between 9:45 and 10:00. I had to make more stops than I would have liked due to (what else?) the heat and humidity to catch my breath but I've decided to go easy on myself. Beating myself up over taking a break isn't going to help anything.
So I give myself a much needed hug and head out the door for an easy easy easy 3.
Until Saturday my fellow runners and friends....
Thursday, January 04, 2007
This is why they call running a "mental" sport
Exercise: Running
Distance: 2.77 miles
Time: 27.15
Average pace: 9.49/mile
Location: bike path
Weather: low 50's, rainy, windy
I had a shit day. I mean, my legs felt like crap, I didn't want to run and it was wet and cold and windy. Needless to say, I was not in the best frame of mind when I laced up my shoes. I had several conversations with myself that went something like this:
I: Hi Myself
Myself: Shut up
I: Wow. Somebody's cranky.
Myself: Yeah, well, you would be too if you had to run in this freaking weather.
I: Uh, genius, I am running in this weather. You? Me? Same person!
Myself: Oh yeah? then why are you so happy?
I: Because we get to run! Isn't it great?
Myself: Uh huh.
I: We have our nike+ gadget all queued up and ready to roll with all kinds of motivational songs
Myself: more like crap
I: and it's not too crowded out here
Myself: except for a bunch of stupid people and their stupid dogs
I: and the sun is tucked behind the clouds
Myself: stupid rain
I: and we're going to have a great run today!
Myself: Shut up you loser
...five minutes later
Myself: I want to stop
I: But we just got started
Myself: So? This sucks
I: Come on! You can do it!
Myself: No I can't
I: Yes you can. Just hang in there and you'll start to feel better
Myself: dodododododododo...I hate this....dodododododododododo
I: what are you doing?
Myself: trying to block you out of my head so I can stop running
I: Come on! Keep moving!
....ten minutes later
Myself: Oh sweet merciful heavens!!!!!
I: what are you complaining about now?
Myself: I want to stop!!!!!!!!!
I: Why?
Myself: I'm tired
I: Get over it.
Myself: It's too far
I: It's 3 lousy miles
Myself: It's too far
I: Oh look! A tree! Look at that beautiful tree!
Myself: Shut up. Quit trying to distract me from my pain
I: How's your foot?
Myself: Fine
I: then you have no reason to stop. Keep going!
...and in the end.
Myself: Thank God that's over!
I: Great job!
Myself: Yeah, that wasn't too bad.
I: Oh shut up! You complained the entire time
Distance: 2.77 miles
Time: 27.15
Average pace: 9.49/mile
Location: bike path
Weather: low 50's, rainy, windy
I had a shit day. I mean, my legs felt like crap, I didn't want to run and it was wet and cold and windy. Needless to say, I was not in the best frame of mind when I laced up my shoes. I had several conversations with myself that went something like this:
I: Hi Myself
Myself: Shut up
I: Wow. Somebody's cranky.
Myself: Yeah, well, you would be too if you had to run in this freaking weather.
I: Uh, genius, I am running in this weather. You? Me? Same person!
Myself: Oh yeah? then why are you so happy?
I: Because we get to run! Isn't it great?
Myself: Uh huh.
I: We have our nike+ gadget all queued up and ready to roll with all kinds of motivational songs
Myself: more like crap
I: and it's not too crowded out here
Myself: except for a bunch of stupid people and their stupid dogs
I: and the sun is tucked behind the clouds
Myself: stupid rain
I: and we're going to have a great run today!
Myself: Shut up you loser
...five minutes later
Myself: I want to stop
I: But we just got started
Myself: So? This sucks
I: Come on! You can do it!
Myself: No I can't
I: Yes you can. Just hang in there and you'll start to feel better
Myself: dodododododododo...I hate this....dodododododododododo
I: what are you doing?
Myself: trying to block you out of my head so I can stop running
I: Come on! Keep moving!
....ten minutes later
Myself: Oh sweet merciful heavens!!!!!
I: what are you complaining about now?
Myself: I want to stop!!!!!!!!!
I: Why?
Myself: I'm tired
I: Get over it.
Myself: It's too far
I: It's 3 lousy miles
Myself: It's too far
I: Oh look! A tree! Look at that beautiful tree!
Myself: Shut up. Quit trying to distract me from my pain
I: How's your foot?
Myself: Fine
I: then you have no reason to stop. Keep going!
...and in the end.
Myself: Thank God that's over!
I: Great job!
Myself: Yeah, that wasn't too bad.
I: Oh shut up! You complained the entire time
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