Day one of Goal Marathon 2009 yesterday with a total of 3 miles with an average pace of 10:48. This makes me very very very happy. It's neither far nor fast but I'm proud of myself nonetheless. Since the middle of September I've been running about 10 miles a week struggling for every step, it seems. My pace was usually somewhere around 12:00 miles but yesterday, ah yesterday...for the first time in a very long time I feel like not all is lost. That the 4.5 months I spent (and am still currently spending) getting my brain healthy did not totally kill everything I worked for physically. I'm actually looking forward to winter and running in the cold and snow and under armor. Yay running!
It's coming back, ya'll!
Showing posts with label get outta town. Show all posts
Showing posts with label get outta town. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The Comeback Kid
I'm horrified to realize that I haven't posted anything since the FIFTH of JULY. And here it is, the end of September. If anyone still stops by this dusty corner of the internet, I thank you 1000 times.
As I type this, I'm curled up in bed getting myself geared up for another quarter of classes. It's still dark outside and I'm wondering how it's possible the summer went by so quickly. But a good summer it was. After 4 months of intensive therapy and multiple drug combinations, I think I've found my happy medium. I haven't felt this good in years. Anxiety still wakes me in the night, still grabs me by the throat too often, however I see a light at the end of the tunnel. Someone once described depression as being like a tree covered in vines. The vines start at the base of the tree and continue up the trunk sometimes reaching so high and thick that the tree disappears and all anyone can see is the vines. I think I've managed to untangle my tree from some of those vines and I believe even some of my branches are showing. It feels glorious.
So glorious, in fact, that I've been running. Yes, that's right. Running. I'm taking it nice and slow, which is drastically different from how I usually try to get back in the game. I've been doing 2 minutes walking 2 minutes running and I feel like I could do that for hours.
I'm back.
As I type this, I'm curled up in bed getting myself geared up for another quarter of classes. It's still dark outside and I'm wondering how it's possible the summer went by so quickly. But a good summer it was. After 4 months of intensive therapy and multiple drug combinations, I think I've found my happy medium. I haven't felt this good in years. Anxiety still wakes me in the night, still grabs me by the throat too often, however I see a light at the end of the tunnel. Someone once described depression as being like a tree covered in vines. The vines start at the base of the tree and continue up the trunk sometimes reaching so high and thick that the tree disappears and all anyone can see is the vines. I think I've managed to untangle my tree from some of those vines and I believe even some of my branches are showing. It feels glorious.
So glorious, in fact, that I've been running. Yes, that's right. Running. I'm taking it nice and slow, which is drastically different from how I usually try to get back in the game. I've been doing 2 minutes walking 2 minutes running and I feel like I could do that for hours.
I'm back.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Capital City Half Marathon
Having run this race as my first half marathon exactly one year ago, I knew what to expect of the challenges of the course and of the possible weather conditions. But clearly, I train on very very flat terrian. This is known as being a relitively flat course so why did I feel like I was running uphill the entire way?
It was a chilly 40F at the start and overcast - perfect racing conditions for me. I was well rested and carbed up so I knew I had a chance at meeting my time goal of 2:15 which would give me a PR by 14 minutes. We lined up according to pace per mile, me with the 10:00 group and my dad with the 11:00 group. We were 3,500 strong and pressed shoulder to shoulder. I prepared myself for a slow first mile so you can imagine my surprise when I clocked a 9:54. 10:15 was my goal. Pull back, I thought to myself, don't go out too fast.
The first waterstop was a mess, almost like the poor volunteers weren't quite ready for us yet. I decided to skip it. The next few miles passed in a blur while the crowd thinned out and we found our rhythm.
Mile 2: 9:30
Mile 3: 9:22
Mile 4: 9:26
At mile 5 I took my first gel and inhaled as much water as I could without choking or stopping. I knew it was early in the race but I thought if I could hold on to that pace, I would shatter my time goal.
Mile 5: 9:48
Mile 6: 9:44
At mile six, we started the long stretch up High Street and the entire thing felt like I was running in a wind tunnel. I swore and cursed the sky. Wind bites. But I decided no amount of wind was going to stop me. I made the wind my bitch and kept plugging away.
Mile 7 & 8: 20:51 (forgot to hit the lap button)
More uphill, more wind. more swearing. Somewhere around here I had to stop and walk for a minute and catch my breath. My heart rate had gotten too high and I needed to regroup.
Mile 9: 9:49
Mile 10: 10:42
Porta potty stop and a quick walk break at mile 10. Only 5k to go. People around me were talking about a 2:10 finish time. I knew I just had to hang on and that 2:10 would be mine. I wanted 2:10 more than I wanted a 2:15. Time to kick it into high gear.
Mile 11: 10:27
Mile 12: 9:22
Mile 13: 8:56!!!!
Finish: 2:10:42
I finished strong and gave hi-fives to little kids in the final stretch. I crossed the finish line knowing I'd given it everything I had and was completely spent. I sat down on a curb with a banana and waited until I was sure I wasn't going to throw up before I went back to the finish line to cheer my dad to his PR of 2:23.
When I ran this same race last year, the main goal was to finish. 13.1 miles was a distance I'd never covered before so no matter what I would be happy at the end. This year, I've done the distance (and then some) so it was all about the time. I woke up Saturday morning unsure if I would be able to hold a 10:15 pace for the entire race and ended up really surprising myself with what I was able to do out there. I know there are things I still need to work on (hills and endurance) but running a 2:10 is a 19 minute improvement in 1 year. Who knows what I'll be able to do one year from now!
It was a chilly 40F at the start and overcast - perfect racing conditions for me. I was well rested and carbed up so I knew I had a chance at meeting my time goal of 2:15 which would give me a PR by 14 minutes. We lined up according to pace per mile, me with the 10:00 group and my dad with the 11:00 group. We were 3,500 strong and pressed shoulder to shoulder. I prepared myself for a slow first mile so you can imagine my surprise when I clocked a 9:54. 10:15 was my goal. Pull back, I thought to myself, don't go out too fast.
The first waterstop was a mess, almost like the poor volunteers weren't quite ready for us yet. I decided to skip it. The next few miles passed in a blur while the crowd thinned out and we found our rhythm.
Mile 2: 9:30
Mile 3: 9:22
Mile 4: 9:26
At mile 5 I took my first gel and inhaled as much water as I could without choking or stopping. I knew it was early in the race but I thought if I could hold on to that pace, I would shatter my time goal.
Mile 5: 9:48
Mile 6: 9:44
At mile six, we started the long stretch up High Street and the entire thing felt like I was running in a wind tunnel. I swore and cursed the sky. Wind bites. But I decided no amount of wind was going to stop me. I made the wind my bitch and kept plugging away.
Mile 7 & 8: 20:51 (forgot to hit the lap button)
More uphill, more wind. more swearing. Somewhere around here I had to stop and walk for a minute and catch my breath. My heart rate had gotten too high and I needed to regroup.
Mile 9: 9:49
Mile 10: 10:42
Porta potty stop and a quick walk break at mile 10. Only 5k to go. People around me were talking about a 2:10 finish time. I knew I just had to hang on and that 2:10 would be mine. I wanted 2:10 more than I wanted a 2:15. Time to kick it into high gear.
Mile 11: 10:27
Mile 12: 9:22
Mile 13: 8:56!!!!
Finish: 2:10:42
I finished strong and gave hi-fives to little kids in the final stretch. I crossed the finish line knowing I'd given it everything I had and was completely spent. I sat down on a curb with a banana and waited until I was sure I wasn't going to throw up before I went back to the finish line to cheer my dad to his PR of 2:23.
When I ran this same race last year, the main goal was to finish. 13.1 miles was a distance I'd never covered before so no matter what I would be happy at the end. This year, I've done the distance (and then some) so it was all about the time. I woke up Saturday morning unsure if I would be able to hold a 10:15 pace for the entire race and ended up really surprising myself with what I was able to do out there. I know there are things I still need to work on (hills and endurance) but running a 2:10 is a 19 minute improvement in 1 year. Who knows what I'll be able to do one year from now!
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Weird 48
It's been a strange weekend. Full of things happening to me that never happen to me. My life is so undramatic it's pathetic, and usually this is the way I like it, but I had some drama this weekend, all of it...well, good. I'm telling you, this kind of stuff never happens to me.
- my car broke down in the middle of rush hour traffic. While this might appear to be a bad thing, the auto mechanic told me the problem was covered under a recall. I got a brand new fuel pump installed for free, and it only took about 2 hours. This kind of thing never happens to me. Whenever I take my car in, I assume it will cost $1,000 and be in the shop for a week. That way I'm pleasantly surprised with anything less. I know, eternal optimist, right?
- I talked to this guy for the first time in about 2 years. I think I was calm and collected, but who really knows. The strange thing is that he's been on the forefront of my mind for the last week, even more so than usual. I've blogged about him and even seen him in my dreams. And then, there he was. He initiated the conversation (I never would) and I actually responded with some degree of intelligence. This never happens. I've been known to stuff creamers down my shirt or run away screaming when a boy I like says "Hello." The fact that I was able to form a complete sentence, not once but many times, means progress on my end. He liked my shoes.
- I have a date. This never happens. I never get hit on or asked out, no one ever flirts with me ever. I think I give off an unapproachable vibe anyway and I really don't think I'm much to look at so when I met this guy and he asked for my number, I wrote it down for him without much hope. But for some reason, he called the next day. A sinking pit of dread formed in my stomach as we talked. He's going to ask me out for dinner, I thought, and I'll be all awkward and embarrassed at myself and it will be a total failure and no one will ever love me and I'm going to die alone and my cat will starve so she'll eat my face and I'll be the pathetic old lady who's cat ate her face. But to my surprise he said, "Would you like to get together for a run this week?" Swoon.
I feel confident that my car will start when I want it too, I can say "Hello" to the man I've been admiring from afar for far too long without running away screaming, and I have a date. Can you believe it???
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Guess What?
I feel pretty great. Not sure why I'm not cramped up and hobbling around today, perhaps I have gained some fitness after all. Running (and walking) for 4 hours yesterday didn't kill me and I'm no worse off today than I was after any of my other long runs. And I got a HUGE kick out of seeing people's faces this morning at church when they asked me how far I went yesterday. I wish I bottle that expression, "20 miles??"
For some reason, 20 always gets more of a reaction than the actual marathon itself which is a whopping 6.2 miles longer. Maybe because 20 is a nice round number that's easily pictured. What is 26.2? It's odd, weird, uneven, how far is that? Everyone knows about how far 20 miles is. "Why, you could run to Circleville!"
Lastly, I stole this idea for my shoes from the Runner's World forums. I thought it would be a great motivator when I'm doubled over in pain somewhere around mile 22, wanting to quit. I'll look down, see this and press on. I was also thinking about drawing wings on my heals! I'm so cheesy :)
Thursday, September 13, 2007
FUEL
Provided I don't slag off and I complete my 19 miler on Saturday morning as planned, I will reach 37 miles for the week. Holy moly. No wonder I eat like a freaking horse. I eat everything placed in front of me and then I ask for more. Like a Hobbit, I have breakfast, then I have Second Breakfast. Lunch, then Second Lunch. I'm not too hungry at the end of the day so after my run, I'll usually have a banana and then maybe a bowl of soup. But for the most part, I'm starving all the time. And when I finally do eat after going a whole 20 minutes or so of not eating, whatever it is tastes soooo gooooodddd.
For example, I had a chicken sandwich for lunch, plain old chicken, some lettuce, a little mayo...nothing out of the ordinary, right? So how's come I scarfed that thing down like I hadn't seen food in days, then went on to rave to everyone I saw about how good it was?? It wasn't that spectacular, was it? Half an hour later, I'm back down at the cafeteria sniffing around for another one!
I've been a human garbage disposal now for about 3 weeks coinciding with the increase in mileage. It makes sense that I would need to eat more to keep up, but is this normal? I haven't gained any weight but I'm worried I will if I keep walking around "famished" all the time and make poor food choices. I have absolutely no idea how many calories I'm ingesting, honestly, they're chewed up and in my tummy before I can count them.
It just seems so totally bizarre to me, that I can eat as much as I do and not gain weight. And yes, I realize it's a balancing act (calories in vs calories out) but I still have that overweight, out of shape mentality that was ME for so many years. Just because the weight is gone, doesn't mean I don't still feel like that insecure fat girl. One thing that has changed, though, I don't eat for comfort anymore, I eat for FUEL.
I'm learning about so much more than running while training for this marathon.
For example, I had a chicken sandwich for lunch, plain old chicken, some lettuce, a little mayo...nothing out of the ordinary, right? So how's come I scarfed that thing down like I hadn't seen food in days, then went on to rave to everyone I saw about how good it was?? It wasn't that spectacular, was it? Half an hour later, I'm back down at the cafeteria sniffing around for another one!
I've been a human garbage disposal now for about 3 weeks coinciding with the increase in mileage. It makes sense that I would need to eat more to keep up, but is this normal? I haven't gained any weight but I'm worried I will if I keep walking around "famished" all the time and make poor food choices. I have absolutely no idea how many calories I'm ingesting, honestly, they're chewed up and in my tummy before I can count them.
It just seems so totally bizarre to me, that I can eat as much as I do and not gain weight. And yes, I realize it's a balancing act (calories in vs calories out) but I still have that overweight, out of shape mentality that was ME for so many years. Just because the weight is gone, doesn't mean I don't still feel like that insecure fat girl. One thing that has changed, though, I don't eat for comfort anymore, I eat for FUEL.
I'm learning about so much more than running while training for this marathon.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
And then there was...The 18 miler
How can 17 be so bad and 18 be so so good?
Today I am a firm believer that without the bad days, there would be no good days. This run felt good. I'm as shocked as everyone else. Coming off the last few weeks, I thought surely I was toast. I thought surely I would struggle through this run and come straight home and switch my registration from the full to the half. I thought surely I would be ending the day in tears, giving away all my running gadgets to someone more worthy of them than silly ol' me.
Ha! I'm keeping the Garmin and sticking to the full and I'M GOING TO DO THIS THING!!
My dad ran with me again but left the future BIL at home which turned out to be ok. Without him running in circles around me and playing in the trees and skipping off to look at who knows what, I was able to focus on my form and my breathing and settle into a comfortable groove. It was downright chilly when we started which I was over the moon about! I wore a long sleeved t-shirt over my singlet for the first mile and could even see my breath. Hallelujah! Dad and I chatted through the first 6.5 miles so they went by really fast. 7-13.5 also went by pretty fast because I had some new tunes on the pod (yeah, I know, I took it with me today even though I said I'd cut it out, but I'm glad I had it) and took a route I'd never been on before. The last 4.5 miles were all mental, the last two pure grit, a lot of "left, right, left, right" going through my head just to put one foot in front of the other. Only 1 unscheduled walk break but I was able to beat down my Negative Monster pretty quickly and press on. (Thanks Nancy!)
And in the end, 18.10 miles in 3:30:07. Slow, but I'm quite pleased with how it turned out. My pacing today was much more consistent than it's been in a long time. About 15 of those miles were right between 11:10-11:15. One mile was around 10:30 (don't ask) and my unscheduled walk break mile was about 13:00. Other than that, pretty consistent. WAHOO!
Now, food and drinks with friends. What could be better after a morning like that?!
Happy running...!
Today I am a firm believer that without the bad days, there would be no good days. This run felt good. I'm as shocked as everyone else. Coming off the last few weeks, I thought surely I was toast. I thought surely I would struggle through this run and come straight home and switch my registration from the full to the half. I thought surely I would be ending the day in tears, giving away all my running gadgets to someone more worthy of them than silly ol' me.
Ha! I'm keeping the Garmin and sticking to the full and I'M GOING TO DO THIS THING!!
My dad ran with me again but left the future BIL at home which turned out to be ok. Without him running in circles around me and playing in the trees and skipping off to look at who knows what, I was able to focus on my form and my breathing and settle into a comfortable groove. It was downright chilly when we started which I was over the moon about! I wore a long sleeved t-shirt over my singlet for the first mile and could even see my breath. Hallelujah! Dad and I chatted through the first 6.5 miles so they went by really fast. 7-13.5 also went by pretty fast because I had some new tunes on the pod (yeah, I know, I took it with me today even though I said I'd cut it out, but I'm glad I had it) and took a route I'd never been on before. The last 4.5 miles were all mental, the last two pure grit, a lot of "left, right, left, right" going through my head just to put one foot in front of the other. Only 1 unscheduled walk break but I was able to beat down my Negative Monster pretty quickly and press on. (Thanks Nancy!)
And in the end, 18.10 miles in 3:30:07. Slow, but I'm quite pleased with how it turned out. My pacing today was much more consistent than it's been in a long time. About 15 of those miles were right between 11:10-11:15. One mile was around 10:30 (don't ask) and my unscheduled walk break mile was about 13:00. Other than that, pretty consistent. WAHOO!
Now, food and drinks with friends. What could be better after a morning like that?!
Happy running...!
Sunday, August 05, 2007
With a little help from my friends
I'm not sure when it happened but all of a sudden my friends are on board. I had company for almost all my runs this week which was a rare treat because I always run by myself. Now, I love my friends dearly but runners they are not. Drinkers, yes. Runners? Someday perhaps, but up until this week, they usually looked at me with amusement whenever I'd start in about the obnoxious toenail that's still lingering on or how my ice bath this morning didn't exactly get all the kinks out like I'd hoped. Up until now, they were supportive of course, but never had any inclination towards joining me for a run.
Then, all of a sudden, there they were. One decided to bike along beside me while I ran, graciously carrying my water and keys and making me laugh the entire time. Another joined me for the first mile of my long run on Saturday. It was her first try running outside in the elements (has been running for a few weeks on a TM at her gym) and afterwards, I knew she was hooked. She called me up later in the day to ask what time to be at the park next Saturday.
After my friend finished her very first outdoor run on Saturday, I went on to get the rest of my long run in. A few miles into it, I ran into my dad. He decided to sign up to run his very first 1/2 marathon the same day I run my full (so we'll run it together) and Saturday was his first long run. I had no idea he was out there doing this so I yelped when I saw him "Hey old man!" and turned around and ran with him for about 5 miles. Well, 5 miles is a rough guesstimate. I forgot my Garmin and I was kicking myself for it, but actually I was much more relaxed without it. I pretty much know where the mile markers are on this route so I just ran by feel and chatted up my dad for a while. It was great!
And I have to tell you, I think this week has ruined me. I had so much fun with company on my runs I'm afraid I'll want it all the time!! But really, this was a fantastic week and I'm so thrilled to see my friends and family start to make positive changes regarding their health. To think I had anything to do with that blows my mind.
Happy miles....
Then, all of a sudden, there they were. One decided to bike along beside me while I ran, graciously carrying my water and keys and making me laugh the entire time. Another joined me for the first mile of my long run on Saturday. It was her first try running outside in the elements (has been running for a few weeks on a TM at her gym) and afterwards, I knew she was hooked. She called me up later in the day to ask what time to be at the park next Saturday.
After my friend finished her very first outdoor run on Saturday, I went on to get the rest of my long run in. A few miles into it, I ran into my dad. He decided to sign up to run his very first 1/2 marathon the same day I run my full (so we'll run it together) and Saturday was his first long run. I had no idea he was out there doing this so I yelped when I saw him "Hey old man!" and turned around and ran with him for about 5 miles. Well, 5 miles is a rough guesstimate. I forgot my Garmin and I was kicking myself for it, but actually I was much more relaxed without it. I pretty much know where the mile markers are on this route so I just ran by feel and chatted up my dad for a while. It was great!
And I have to tell you, I think this week has ruined me. I had so much fun with company on my runs I'm afraid I'll want it all the time!! But really, this was a fantastic week and I'm so thrilled to see my friends and family start to make positive changes regarding their health. To think I had anything to do with that blows my mind.
Happy miles....
Monday, July 23, 2007
We have a new PR
Four miles is sort of an odd distance to have a PR in and it's not official or anything. Like, it wasn't done in an official race or on a measured course but the numbers are in the Garmin and the Garmin is as good as gold in my book. Like, totally dudes.
mile 1: 10:05
mile 2: 09:42
mile 3: 09:45
mile 4: 09:48
grand total: 39:21
Oh yeah. You know it was a good run when you're drenched with sweat and smiling from ear to ear. This felt absolutely great. I'm totally preparing for Tuesday and Wednesday to suck (how's that for positive thinking?) but I need to take it easy the rest of the week. I'm running my second half marathon on Saturday and I'd like to run a 2:15. Shaving almost 15 minutes off my previous 1/2 marathon time sounds a little ambitious but I think I can do it. A 2:15 finish would give me a better chance of finishing the marathon in under 5 hours.
But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Worry about Saturday for now.
mile 1: 10:05
mile 2: 09:42
mile 3: 09:45
mile 4: 09:48
grand total: 39:21
Oh yeah. You know it was a good run when you're drenched with sweat and smiling from ear to ear. This felt absolutely great. I'm totally preparing for Tuesday and Wednesday to suck (how's that for positive thinking?) but I need to take it easy the rest of the week. I'm running my second half marathon on Saturday and I'd like to run a 2:15. Shaving almost 15 minutes off my previous 1/2 marathon time sounds a little ambitious but I think I can do it. A 2:15 finish would give me a better chance of finishing the marathon in under 5 hours.
But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Worry about Saturday for now.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Ice Ice Baby
Yeah, I did it. I tried my first ever ice bath tonight after I got home from my sorta long-run of 7 miles. My legs felt tight and heavy for most of the run (probably due in part to the wings on my feet yesterday, except mile 3) so halfway through I decided I was going to suck it up and go for the plunge. Ah yes, I'm getting quite good at this whole "pun" thing, wouldn't you agree?
I shuffled into the UDF by my house and grabbed the bottle of apple juice I promised myself at mile 4.5 and two bags of ice. The guy behind the counter was not amused. By anything. I tried to tell him that I was going to take these two bags of ice, throw them in my bath tub with cold water and sit in it for 20 minutes, but he wasn't having it. He sighed and said, "Whatever, lady."
His loss.
Now, I'll admit, I swore a little and screamed A LOT as I eased my legs into this homemade torture chamber. My top half was still sweating from the run while my lower half was an iceberg. It was a trip! You non-runners out there should give it a try sometime, just for kicks! After a few minutes, the torture subsided and it was quite pleasant. Well, probably because I couldn't feel anything below my belly button, but that's besides the point.
.
And I have to say it wasn't all for naught. Usually after a run like today, I'm hobbling around my apartment like a 90-year-old lady (maybe this says more about my stretching routine, but I digress). However today, I could SKIP if I wanted to. No tightness. No soreness. No tenderness.
.
I'm floored. This stuff actually works!
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