2nd Half Marathon

As soon as I stepped out onto my balcony, I knew I should haveabandoned my time goal. But part of me (the optimist) was hoping that it wouldn't be that bad and that all my training in the heat of the day would hold up today trying to run 13.1 miles in 78% humidity.

But things don't always work out the way we plan

I knew I was in trouble when my first mile clocked in at 9:56 and I felt like I'd stupidly sprinted the entire mile. I backed off the pace a little and tried to keep it steady at 10:20. I was still around quite a few runners at this point and found a pack and tried to stick with them. Slowly, I fell to the back, then lost them at the water station. But I pressed on.

The course moved onto the bike path and was up and down, up and down, up and down. I was physically drained by the time I saw my friend at mile 6.5. She told me I was doing fine and to keep it up. So I did, even though my entire body was screaming to quit.

At this point in the race, the course repeats itself (one big loop we did twice). I mistakenly looked down the street and saw the finish line a quarter mile away, but still 6.5 miles to go. At this point, I fell apart a little mentally. I wanted so much to give up, I was doing so BAD! It was so HARD! It was so HUMID!

I kept on.

To say the last 4 miles were a struggle is putting it mildly. I shuffled through them and tried to keep it together but I felt like death. I started chatting with another runner (Amy) who was doing a run/walk strategy as part of her Team in Training program. We ran about the same pace and talking with her really helped take my mind off of how bad I felt, physically and mentally. She eventually beat me (not hard) but we agreed to try and get together in the future for long runs as she is also training for the Columbus Marathon in October.

The last two aid stations ran out of water and the last one out of gatorade as well. It's ok, I thought to myself, I'll drink when I'm dead. Which should be soon!

The finish line was on the top of yet another hill but I got there. 2.29.30 and honestly, I was a little surprised. While it was no where near the time I wanted to run, it was only 27 seconds slower than my 1st 1/2 back in April. Considering the conditions, I think I can be ok with that time. I wanted to clock a faster time to prove to myself that all the hard work I've been doing is paying off but what can I say? Somedays it just doesn't happen. I know in my bones, muscles, joints, brain, heart that I'm a stronger runner than I was 5 months ago. Today just wasn't my day.

In a strange twisted sort of way, I'm a little glad this race was so tough. (The humidity, the hills, the heat, the lack of fluids in the final miles, the lack of crowd support, the mental toughness of having to run that stupid loop twice, did I mention the humidty?) I think the experience of gutting it out to the finish even when my body and brain both agreed that it was time to stop will be a valuable tool in future long runs and, ultimately, the marathon.

Good grief. Am I really going to run a marathon??

Request

Another great run is in the books. Today didn't suck! I'm thoroughly surprised. 7 miles and I even managed to pick it up the last two miles. I felt pretty freaking fantastic at my turn-around point so I decided to try and run the last two miles at my goal pace for this weekend (10:18). Wouldn't you know, the Garmin said 9:50 and 9:52.

WHAT'S UP?&$%#($*#($)!*$(&*)(*^&**$*

One ice bath later and I'm basking in the afterglow of another runner's high. The pessimist in me is wondering when my streak will end (surely it must) and the optimist in me is hoping it's not before this weekend. Ah well. I sleep better this time around knowing I'm so much more prepared for this 1/2 marathon than I was for my first. I feel strong.

Now, on to other matters...I need some help. I am B.O.R.E.D. with my playlist and need some recommendations for some new fun stuff to put on there. Eventually, I'd need to ween myself off the ipod because I don't plan on using it for the marathon BUT, in the meantime, I need a change. If you run with one, what are some songs on the ipod (or mp3 player, or walkman if you're retro) that get you moving? Get you pumped? Give you that kick in the arse that says "Let's DO this thing!" List a couple and I promise to load it on the pod...unless I already have it or the song makes my ears bleed. I'm sure you all have some suggestions....! C'mon, you know you want to. Don't be shy.

We have a new PR

Four miles is sort of an odd distance to have a PR in and it's not official or anything. Like, it wasn't done in an official race or on a measured course but the numbers are in the Garmin and the Garmin is as good as gold in my book. Like, totally dudes.

mile 1: 10:05
mile 2: 09:42
mile 3: 09:45
mile 4: 09:48

grand total: 39:21

Oh yeah. You know it was a good run when you're drenched with sweat and smiling from ear to ear. This felt absolutely great. I'm totally preparing for Tuesday and Wednesday to suck (how's that for positive thinking?) but I need to take it easy the rest of the week. I'm running my second half marathon on Saturday and I'd like to run a 2:15. Shaving almost 15 minutes off my previous 1/2 marathon time sounds a little ambitious but I think I can do it. A 2:15 finish would give me a better chance of finishing the marathon in under 5 hours.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Worry about Saturday for now.

Answered prayer

I had to do my long run early this week in order to attend my lil' sister's bridal shower tomorrow in Terrible Terre Haute, Indiana. All week, I've been praying for cooler temperatures and low humidity for Friday afternoon between 4 and 6pm in Columbus, Ohio.

At 4pm, it was 75F with no humidity in sight. God answers prayer, even silly, selfish ones like my own.

I felt strong throughout and kept an even 10:50mpm pace for most of the run. If you've taken a peak at some of the other paces I've posted on here recently, you'll notice how extremely RARE it is for me to run steady and consistently but today I held back at the beginning and finished strong, even had a little kick back to my car.

One other thing that is noteworthy about today is that I played hooky from work. I don't do this often ENOUGH. Today definitely called for a "mental health day" in my book. I've been stressed out and burnt out at my dead end job for about 3 weeks and in desperate need of a vacation. While today wasn't planned and is pretty out of character for me, I feel a rejuvenated spirit of sorts having spent this gorgeous summer day exactly the way I wanted. I slept in until 2:30 in the afternoon (!), took the dogs to the park where I swung on the swing set in my bare feet, kicking them up towards the sky and letting my hair drag on the ground below. I played on the slide and had a go at the monkey bars. I wrestled with the puppies and was completely covered in dog kisses by the time I got home. Top that off with a perfect run in the park and I feel almost back to normal.

Today was unplanned and absolutely perfect. I think because it was so unplanned and unexpected, I feel rested in a way I wouldn't have if I'd been counting on this day for weeks. Sometimes, I just need a little break from the hum-drum monotony of the corporate cube land I call my "job". I treasure the simple gifts found out there in the real world today.

Happy miles....

Reason #679.1 why I don't have a boyfriend

I put vaseline on my eyebrows.

Ice Ice Baby

Yeah, I did it. I tried my first ever ice bath tonight after I got home from my sorta long-run of 7 miles. My legs felt tight and heavy for most of the run (probably due in part to the wings on my feet yesterday, except mile 3) so halfway through I decided I was going to suck it up and go for the plunge. Ah yes, I'm getting quite good at this whole "pun" thing, wouldn't you agree?

I shuffled into the UDF by my house and grabbed the bottle of apple juice I promised myself at mile 4.5 and two bags of ice. The guy behind the counter was not amused. By anything. I tried to tell him that I was going to take these two bags of ice, throw them in my bath tub with cold water and sit in it for 20 minutes, but he wasn't having it. He sighed and said, "Whatever, lady."

His loss.

Now, I'll admit, I swore a little and screamed A LOT as I eased my legs into this homemade torture chamber. My top half was still sweating from the run while my lower half was an iceberg. It was a trip! You non-runners out there should give it a try sometime, just for kicks! After a few minutes, the torture subsided and it was quite pleasant. Well, probably because I couldn't feel anything below my belly button, but that's besides the point.

.

And I have to say it wasn't all for naught. Usually after a run like today, I'm hobbling around my apartment like a 90-year-old lady (maybe this says more about my stretching routine, but I digress). However today, I could SKIP if I wanted to. No tightness. No soreness. No tenderness.

.

I'm floored. This stuff actually works!

I have no pace control

Four miles today and check it:

Mile 1: 10:17
Mile 2: 9:38
Mile 3: 15:08
Mile 4: 10:13

Uhhh. What happened at mile 3?? Well, apparently all that not-so-good-for-me food I've been stuffing into my pie hole recently finally got the best of me. Still 2 miles from my car, still 3 miles from a porta-potty, I decided to speed walk (ahem, not so speedy) as fast as I could without setting anything awry. Then, apparently, it passed. (TMI? Nah, we're runners! We're not embarrassed by "Runners Trots"!) Who knows? If it hadn't been for that little dealy, mile 3 would have been much better and I'd be much happier with those splits. But hey, I'm still pretty proud of those splits, especially since mile 4 felt like a recovery jog. I looked down at the Garmin at the end and you could have knocked me over. I couldn't believe it!

I have to say, I've been feeling much better this week and last. I've been sleeping better and feeling stronger out there on the road. I think I realized how critical of myself I've been so I've been trying to give myself a little credit. After all, if running is 98% mental and that 98% is negative, there's no way I'll get this thing done. Just no way. I can't listen that little voice inside of me that says "You can't do it" because then I'm sure to fail. Positive thinking is the way to go, dudes.

So, I press on and nurture my dings. For a sports bra that's not supposed to chafe, I sure have a lot of stingy spots when I hop in the shower. OWIE! And my toenail finally fell off. Thank you, thank you! It was a long time coming and I wasn't quite sure it was going to hop ship, then 2 nights ago, there it was. It was a proud day here in my house.

Adios Humidity

You may have noticed a slightly orange countdown clock on the left hand side of this little corner of the internet I claim as my own. It's been steadily ticking off the seconds until marathon day for quite a few months now and today is the first day we are now in double digits.

99 days to go and counting!

I have had a much better week of running. Tuesday's "easy" 3 miles turned into a "medium" 3, Wednesday's 6 was FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC and even Thursday's easy 3 was nice and easy. So I'm feeling quite optimistic about tomorrow's cut back week of only 9 miles.

Didja hear that? I said only 9 miles. This is why I love training for a marathon. I can say things like "I only have to run 9 miles on Saturday" and totally mean it. I remember not too long ago when my "long run" was a whopping 4 miles. Now I'm preparing to hit my first -teen since I ran the 1/2 marathon in April.

Which reminds me. My schedule calls for a 14 mile run next Saturday but I am going to be driving to the fascinating metropolis that is Terre Haute, IN for my little sister's bridal shower. I thought about trying to squeeze it in early early on Saturday morning but if my run goes anything like it did last Saturday, I'll be in a pickle. I could move it to Sunday, but I'm running another 1/2 marathon on July 28th and that's a little too close together. So, I think I'm going to try and do it Friday after work.

That should be interesting. I'm going to start praying for low humidity starting now.

Thank You

I am truly touched at the response I got from my last post. Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement.

Mike: You're right. 12 miles was on the schedule and I did it. That's something to be proud of no matter what the pace.

Brittney: I'll try and listen for "Me" in there somewhere from now on. I know she's in there somewhere!

Silly Lillie: I can be sort of a biotch too! But apparently I didn't have the fight in me on Saturday. My running is my running. My pace is my pace. I'm not out there to impress or please anyone else. Thank you for helping me realize I need to reclaim my own running experience.

Betsy: Thanks for the tip! I just might use Saturday's run during the last 6 miles of the marathon. I'll need some (ok, A LOT of) encouragement by then and I'll try to remember all the days I got out there and ran when I didn't feel like it, just so I could make it to those last 6.2 miles on race day.

Patty: Thanks for stopping by! I did check out your blog and I hope you have a better mental week ahead. I hope we all do!

Red: I never knew what the Miles game was all about before! And I have been passed by plenty of walkers. Though not at the mall. I think I'd have to tackle one of them.

Bridgette: She totally was a jerk! I should have pulled her stupid pony tail. Jerk.

There are a few things I've realized since Saturday. For starters, I'm putting way too much pressure on myself. I started this whole journey because I loved running. Running was fun, running was spiritual, running was my escape from my every day life. But over the past week or two, I've been beating myself up over a lackluster performance and not giving myself nearly the credit I deserve. I'm training for a marathon for craps sake!

The second thing I realized is that I really do love running. I couldn't say this 10 years ago with a straight face and back then I was easily pounding out 7 minute miles. These days, I usually fall in between 10-11 minute miles but I really do love it. In my old age and wisdom, I've discovered I'd rather be slow and happy than fast and miserable. (In a perfect world, I'd be fast and happy, but hey, let's not get greedy now!) I hope to be running for as long as my body will allow it, and if that means running slow, so be it. My goal is to enjoy the journey along the way.

And the last thing I realized, although I knew this already, is that runners are good people. Who else would leave me, a stranger, such genuine support and encouragement? I'm proud to belong in the same community as all of you and call myself....a runner.

Happy miles....

The Power of Negative Thinking

I started this morning before 7:00am. I knew it was going to be another hot one and I'd planned accordingly. I had enough water in my body, around my waist and hidden in bushes along my route to get me through the 12 miles Hal told me to run this morning. My plan was to divide the run into 3 parts: the first 4 miles would be easy at a comfortable 11:00/mpm. The following 4 miles would be ramped up to a 10:45/mpm and I'd finish the run with the last 4 miles at 10:30mpm (or as close as I could get to it, depending on how I felt).

I started out perfectly. Each mile came effortlessly at 11:00mpm and I thought I'd have a great run ahead of me. My legs felt fresh, my lungs open, my spirit ready to fly...

At exactly mile 3.5, I heard some runners coming up behind me. No problem, I thought to myself. Runners pass me all the time. I moved over to the side of the bike path so they'd be sure to have enough room to pass me. I thought I heard about 4 or 5 of them behind me but I counted 5, then 10, then 20, then I lost count and concentrated on not getting trampled. I recognized some of them as belonging to a local marathon training group that often does group runs along the same path on Saturday mornings. I smiled and waved hello as they passed and kept on my po-dunk little pace.

A few minutes went by until I heard another wave of the group coming up behind me. I turned around to see how many there were and I couldn't even see the end there were so many! I decided to hop off the trail on to the grass to be sure I was out of their way.

After the second wave passed, a third and a fourth went whizzing past me. By this time, I'd talked myself into such a stinking hole of self loathing, it's a wonder how I ever managed to finish all 12 miles. Myself and I had another conversation around mile 4 that went something like this:

Myself: You're too slow.
I: I know
Myself: And you're pretty fat.
I: Yeah, I know.
Myself: And you're ugly.
I: I know.
Myself: And that's why no man will ever date you.
I: Well, that makes sense.
Myself: So what are you doing out here anyway?
I: Huh?
Myself: I mean, running!
I: I don't know.
Myself: They are the real runners!
I: I know.
Myself: Who do you think you're kidding?
I: I don't know.
Myself: You suck!
I: I know.
Myself: You should quit.
I: Ok.

I was minding my own business, wallowing around in my own self pity when out of nowhere, one of the girls whizzing by elbowed me smack in the middle of the chest. The force was so blunt and so brutal that it sent me flying off the bike path and knocked the wind right out of me. It took me a few minutes to catch my breath and recover but when I did, she and the rest of her cohort were long gone. I doubt she even noticed she did it.

Feeling utterly defeated and beat up, I headed back towards my car. Myself was right, I didn't belong out there.

But when I got close to my car, I kept running. Eight miles later, I stopped. I'm not sure what kept my legs going out there today and those eight miles were anything but pretty (nowhere near the paces I wanted them to be), but they're in the books. I was never so happy to see a run come to an end as I was today and for a little while I contemplated quiting my training altogether. I've never had a run turn into such a mess of self deprecating negative self talk as was today and, I have to say, I hated it.

I haven't quit, and I won't, but today was a scary experience. I'm not sure where all that stems from (I know it wasn't all the people passing me, that happens all the time!) but I'd like to get to the root of it so I know how to more effectively deal with it should I be surprised with it again.

On Consoling Myself

Ok, this is why having a Wednesday off is a total crapper. Thursday feels like Monday so it's really like having TWO Mondays in one week. Guess who had a case of the Mondays today?

Yeah, yeah. I'm complaining about having a paid holiday. Moving on.

I had a somewhat better tempo run yesterday than my first try. I got all six miles in (though the last one, or, cool down mile wasn't pretty) and kept the middle 4 at a pretty steady pace between 9:45 and 10:00. I had to make more stops than I would have liked due to (what else?) the heat and humidity to catch my breath but I've decided to go easy on myself. Beating myself up over taking a break isn't going to help anything.

So I give myself a much needed hug and head out the door for an easy easy easy 3.

Until Saturday my fellow runners and friends....

Having a day off in the middle of the week is weird, but I ain't complainin'!

Anyone else having trouble singing into blogger? It quite possibly could be just me but I went the round-about way and finally got here. Couple that with the fact that I had to have a 3 hour phone conversation with 'Dexter' from AT&T Tech Support just to get my internet browser up and working again and it's easy to see how I came to the following observation: holy poop I'm bad with computers!

But I digress.

My entire body was tired after my long run on Saturday. So much so that my Sunday cross training consisted of a brisk 30 minute walk and some weight training. Not exactly swimming or yoga but I figure something is better than nothing. I was feeling back to my old self on Monday and had a hard time resting even though I've committed to this schedule. When Hal says to rest, I rest. Good thing too because I over estimated my abilities out there today. I was supposed to be doing 3 medium paced miles and I clocked 3 miles at 10:00/mile each, which, if you've been keeping score at home, is faster than my 10K pace. Certainly not "all out" but far from easy. Finishing was a struggle and I know I was not properly hydrtated. This could have been a much better run, what without all the oppresive humidity and all. Who knew learning how to run easy would be so difficult!

So, did I run my long run to fast? I told the Garmin to keep me at 11min/miles. I started ok but each mile was a tiny bit faster than the one before so by the end, mile 11 clocked in at 10:25. Aren't these things supposed to be going the other way around??

Also, why do all the books and training guides say I have to run my long runs at 45 or 60 (depending on the book) seconds slower than MP? If I'm consistently running slower than MP, how will I know if I can run my goal pace for the 26.2 miles without bonking?

I'm going to change my blog caption to be The more miles I run, the more I figure out I don't know what in the world I'm doing. I'm getting frustrated with myself.

Happy 4th of July, all!

Back to normal

Computer is fixed and I feel like everything is right with the world again. It's a little disconcerting to realize how much I've come to depend on this thing and a 5 day hiatus from the internet was a little refreshing.

That being said, I swooned when my savvy tech friend handed my computer back over like it was a long lost child. "I've missed you so much, you sweet beautiful piece of technology. Let's never part again." My friend tried to explain to me exactly what went wrong and I just stared blankly back at him.

"So I can check my email and play Free Cell again?" I asked.

Computers and cars both belong in the same "I-don't-know-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-it" category. When all goes wrong and the mechanic (or technician) tries to graciously explain the details to me, my eyes glaze over. I just don't get it.

As far as running is concerned, this week had it's highs and lows like every other week. On my sorta long run Wednesday, the humidity was at 90% and the temperature was sill in the upper 80's even at 8:00pm. I did what I could and nearly collapsed after on 5 miles (was supposed to be 6). However, Saturday's 11 mile run couldn't have gone better. I was properly hydrated and fueled and didn't need to make any unscheduled stops. I was going to try the gels like I mentioned but ended up sticking with the beans. Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. With this last full week of running, my total mileage for the month is right at 92, my highest ever!

Now, I've got to get off my butt and do some cross training. Ugg. Swimming or Yoga? Can't decide....