You gotta want it.

If I can pound out another 15.4 miles before Tuesday, I will reach 100 miles for the month of March which is not bad considering I haven't run that many miles in one month since last September and considering one year ago at this time, I ran just over 60 miles for the entire month. I'm feeling pretty good about that. The BT and I ran together a lot this week and the pace was probably a little bit too fast for me, but honestly, I felt ok. The weather has finally taken a turn for the better which has helped immensely.

But, I have to level with you here guys. I'm having second thoughts about committing to run the full marathon again this October. I know, I know. A few months ago I was all gung-ho about it, ready to hit the pavement again and knock a few hours off my time. I've mentioned a few times on this blog that I'm having trouble finding the motivation to train and for a while, I thought it mostly had to do with the season and other things going on in my life. But that lack of motivation hasn't gone away and more than anything, I think about marathon training with dread. And that's NOT THE WAY TO GO. I've always believed that in order to run a marathon, you really have to want to do it. You have to want to get out there and train in the heat and on days you'd really rather just go home. You have to want to skip happy hours with friends because of a scheduled long run in the morning. You have to want to put up with the physical demands it puts on your body and the time it takes away from your family. You have to want that finish line more than anything and I have to say...right now I don't want it that much. I'm not saying that the marathon is definitely out for this year or ever again but that this may not be the time for me to push myself into doing something I don't really want to do just because I think I should.

As I'm training for the two half marathons I have coming up, I'm discovering that I can still have somewhat of a social life with half-marathon training. The long runs don't take up my entire weekend and I don't have to feel guilty for having a few drinks at the end of a long hard week. I think I'm going to stick to half's for a while and maybe revisit the marathon again when I know I really want it.

Survey

1. WHAT TIME DID YOU GET UP THIS MORNING? Around 7, that's when my body natrually wakes up, but it's Saturday so I rolled back over and snoozed for another couple hours.
2. DIAMONDS OR PEARLS? ugg. Neither. tattoos.
3. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA? that one with Denzel Washington...? Big shoot 'em up movie...? he was a bad guy...can't remember what it was called.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? The Office, Family Guy, The Biggest Loser, PBS stuff
5. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? cereal. Then my cat drinks the milk and gets sick and leaves presents for mommy to step in when she gets home.

6. WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME? marie

7. WHAT FOOD DO YOU DISLIKE? too much to mention. almost everything
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CD? Grace - Jeff Buckley. Greatest. Album. Evah!
9. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU DRIVE? focus. meh.
11. WHAT CHARACTERISTIC DO YOU DESPISE? lying

12. FAVORITE ITEM OF CLOTHING?

13. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD ON VACATION, WHERE WOULD YOU GO? Edinburgh, Scotland. Or anyplace warm with a beach. Ohio sux.
14. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED OUT LOUD? About 5 minutes ago. <---click it!

15. FAVORITE BRAND OF CLOTHING? Old navy

16. WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE TO? Gimme a beach.
17. WHAT WAS YOUR MOST MEMORABLE BIRTHDAY? 23 was good. So was 24. And 25. And 26 and 27. 28 sucked but there's always next year.
18. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? FOOTBALL

19. FURTHEST PLACE YOU ARE SENDING THIS? I have no idea who all is going to read this. HI!
20. PERSON YOU EXPECT TO SEND IT BACK FIRST: uh, methinks this was an email.
21. FAVORITE SAYING? "Your mom goes to college" "Whatevs" "I do want I want!"

22. WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY? 9.19.79
23. ARE YOU A MORNING OR NIGHT PERSON? night owl

24. WHAT IS YOUR SHOE SIZE? 7.5 but I buy shoes that are too big or too small if they are cute and on clearance. I'm a slave to fashion.
25. PETS? kitteh

26. ANY NEW AND EXCITING NEWS YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH US? I finally got that popcorn kernel out of my teeth that I've been working on since last night.

27. WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE? a rockstar
28. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? poopy
29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CANDY? DOTS!!!1!
30. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER? daisies.
31. WHAT IS A DAY ON THE CALENDAR YOU ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO? April 12th.
32. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? I'm not telling you, internets!

33. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? my cat falling off the window ledge and through the mini blinds. She's a klutz
34.. LAST THING YOU ATE? this chocolate bunny thing from the BT's parents. the last of the Easter candy. *is sad*

35. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? no, but I did see a couple last weekend out in the country

36. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? green
37. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? chilly but not a cloud in the sky. It was actually pretty nice in Ohio for once.

38. FAVORITE SOFT DRINK? diet coke is crack
39. FAVORITE RESTAURANT? Hyde Park Grill. yeah, $$$$
40. SIBLINGS? one bro, one sis.
41. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? The first day it really feels like Spring after a long cold winter. Whatever day that is.

42. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? "Audrey" this disgusting ratty doll that I loved to pieces and carried with me everywhere I went.
43. SUMMER OR WINTER? football
44. HUGS OR KISSES? kisses
45. COFFEE OR TEA? coffee, but I do love tea

46. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? neither

47. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO E-MAIL YOU BACK? they better if they know what's good for them, punks! (I talk a lot of smack, I love my buddies)

48. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Tuesday

49. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? dust bunnies, clothes, tissues, a towel, some pillows...

50. WHO IS THE LONGEST FRIEND YOU HAVE HAD? Sara Cole. We were born two days apart and were placed next to each other in the hospital nursery. Doesn't go much farther back than that!
51. FAVORITE SMELL? burning leaves in the fall, new running shoes, freshly baked chocolate chip cookies
52. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? rejection, being murdered in the shower, flushing the toilet in the dark (for real, can't do it)

53. SALTY OR SWEET? salty and crunchy

54. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY CHAIN? who cares? really?

55. HOW MANY YEARS AT YOUR CURRENT JOB? 4. I can't believe I've lasted this long without going completely postal.
56. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? Saturday
57. HOW MANY TOWNS HAVE YOU LIVED IN? 3. Columbus, OH, Dublin OH and Edinburgh, Scotland
58. DO YOU MAKE FRIENDS EASILY? No, I'm awkward and standoffish. I don't come out of my shell easily but the friends I do make, I keep around for a long time.

Bullets

The problem with not posting for nearly 2 weeks is that a lot happens that I couldn't possibly sum for you eloquently. Hence another dreaded bullet point list of the most recent events here in my corner of the globe:

• I ran TWO races the weekend of St Patrick's Day.
• Saturday was a 4 miler, time 37:00 on the nose. Quite happy with this one seeing as how I'd indulged in some green beer the night before.
• Sunday was a 5k on a hilly terrible course, time for that one: 28:33. Meh. I'll take it, but only because they gave out some great SWAG. Probably the best I've ever gotten for any race, let alone a 5k. We got a technical t-shirt, 2 sports bottles, a sample of Hammer Gel, electrolyte tabs, and an energy bar, two free movie passes, 35 music downloads, and a St Patrick's Day Luck O' The Irish 5k drinking glass when we crossed the finish line. All in all, not too shabby.
• Things are going along swimmingly with the Boy Toy. No major blips since he reemerged and in fact, I dare say it's going better than ever. (Knock on wood.) He calls when he says he's going to and introduced me to his friends. Yesterday, I went home to meet his family. Mom, dad, brothers, sisters and spouses....everybody. I was nervous as all get out but I think things went ok. His entire family runs so we at least had some easy topics of conversation to cover. I'm not quite sure I'm ready to have him meet my family but that's another topic for another day.

I will post more often. I will post more often. I will post more often.

The big dig

I've managed to dig myself out of the 20 inches of snow that was dumped on C-bus over the weekend and resume life as usual. There's still these disgusting piles of snow everywhere that are so dirty that they're black, but otherwise, the big meltdown is underway. I even saw patches of grass today in spots.

Needless to say, my planned long run of 10 miles at a 10:53 pace on Saturday turned in to 10 miles at about an 11:30 pace on Sunday. I was just happy to be out of the house finally and glad to get the 10 miles in at all. The roads were a mess but not too many cars out so I pretty much just ran down the middle of the main road up and down about a zillion times until my Garmin said 10 miles. I got plenty of strange looks but whateves, I got it done.

I'm running with the Boy Toy tomorrow. This is surprising because I'd sort of written him off after he mysteriously disappeared for about two weeks. Seriously. Not a word since the end of February. Well, I was understandably pissed and not about to waste my precious time playing that game. He resurfaced today out of the blue and we had words. He fell all over himself apologizing and gave a pretty good reason for falling off the face of the earth, but I'm not about to let him off that easily for NOT CALLING. That's just unacceptable. Right?

Blizzard

Everyone else is doing it

I've seen this on about 87 other blogs this week and since I am completely unoriginal and like to steal things... here's mine:

I'm taking a mental health long weekend at the moment. No working until next Tuesday, which means no communication of any kind with any co-workers, bosses, employees, cubical monkeys and NO CHECKING WORK EMAIL FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER. The next four days are mine to try and figure out what I'm going to do with myself and how I'm going to get out of there. Causing a scene a la Jerry McGuire appeals to me, however I'm trying to do the responsible adult thing and have a back up plan. So far, the following ideas have crossed my mind:

• regrow my beard and join the circus with some of my midget babies
• sell everything I own and go live under the bridge at 3rd and Olentangy
• become a lady of the night and sell my body for crack
• take this whole "running" thing pro

Speaking of running, despite how crap everything else is in my life at the moment, I've been running pretty well this week. I ran 3 miles on Monday and Tuesday. On Wednesday I did 4 x 1600m at a 8:34 pace which almost killed me. I ended up with a honking blister on the ball of each foot which kept me from running yesterday. The cause of the blisters was my own stupidity. Cheep socks. Tomorrow, weather pending, I will do 10 miles at a 10:39 pace. April 12th is going to be a PR in a big way. I can feel it. I'm going for 2:15, you heard it here first.

Pierced

I did this to myself this afternoon:

Well, technically, Mike down at Pierceology did it but I paid him to do it. Why? you might ask. I think this question might best be answered by a reenactment of a conversation I had with Myself shortly after my Monday Meltdown.

Myself: Everything sucks.

I: Yeah, I know.

Myself: I hate my job.

I: Yeah

Myself: And my boss

I: Totally, she's a douche.

Myself: And things are probably over with the Boy Toy.

I: You were too good for him anyway.

Myself: And it's going to be February for the rest of my life.

I: Probably is.

Myself: I want to do something crazy.

I: Crazy?
Myself: Yeah, like irrational and rebellious and impulsive!

I: Like what?

Myself: Like go all Brittany and shave my head.

I: Or....?

Myself: Or quit my job and sell everything I own on e-bay and become a vagabond.

I: Or...?

Myself: Or get that piercing I've been talking about for years.

I: Now you're talkin'

Myself: Yeah! Stick it to 'The Man'!

So, I took Myself down to the piercing place and got some holes poked in my head. Rational? No. Wise? Of course not. Necessary? Absolutely.

This is not my first piercing by any means. I've already got 3 holes in each ear, I had my tongue pierced in 1997 and I just took that one out about 6 months ago because I had a teeth cleaning and never bothered to put it back in. Bummer. I also had my nose pierced in 2002 to but had to take it out for some job I was doing at the time. This is my subtle way of telling 'The Man' that an earring is not going to affect how well I am able to do my job. That no 'corporation' is going to tell me what I can and cannot do with my own ear. Sure it's unprofessional, but so am I! This 8-5 job is a paycheck, not a lifestyle