As most of you know, I've been on sort of an unwanted hiatus from "serious" running since about April. My brain wasn't functioning properly and therefore my body couldn't either. I've recently started running again and it feels like I'm starting all over from scratch. This is incredibly frustrating. After I've sucked wind for two miles I beat myself up with all kinds of "should" statements. I should be running faster. I should be running farther. I never should have quit running when I had my mental breakdown. I should not be such an idiot.
However, it was suggested to me that I might consider letting myself off the hook every once in a while. I know I was sick and I know it was very close to life threatening and I know that for every mile I run now I can praise God I'm still alive. I should let myself off the hook.
Today I watched my dad run the Columbus 1/2 Marathon and he did great, a fantastic PR by about 10 minutes. After he finished I went to another part of the course (mile 22) where the marathoners were still going strong and I cheered for each person until the last runner went by. I know how tough those last few miles can be and, being a back-of-the-pack'er myself, I know how lonely I get. I hope I was able to offer encouragement to some of them with my sign:
YOUR FEET HURT CUZ YOU'RE KICKING SO MUCH ASS!!
God willing, I'll be back there next year.
4 comments:
You are right, don't be to hard on yourself. It doesn't do any good.
I wish I would have seen your sign today, it would have cheered me on.
It would be great if you could run it next year. Congratulations to your dad! I PRed by 10 minutes also, I bet he's right next to me on Cloud 9! :)
Thats FANTASTIC! Great job!!!!
I love your sign. That was great to go out there and cheer people on, I have a feeling you'll be back there next year.
Your first paragraph sounded a lot like me, minus the breakdown and illness. It just does sound like you're starting over. You can do that though. It's frustrating for me cause I'm a beginnger I have no idea what it would be like to be a marathoner and have to give it up to start from scratch. I think you're doing a wonderful, challenging thing though getting back out there.
This reply doesn't make a whole lot of sense, sorry.
Cut yourself some slack. It is obvious you love running, you will come back to it when you are ready.
So nice of you to be part of the cheering squad. I do really well with crowd support, and especially the last few miles, I am so grateful to the spectators screaming themselves hoarse.
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