I've been on sort of an emotional roller coaster the last few days. Could it be the lack of miles? Possibly, but I don't remember being this irritable the last time I *only* ran 30 miles a week. I'm finding I'm a bit lonely even though I'm sort of a loner by nature; I work a job where my contact with coworkers/customers is extremely limited, so limited, in fact that I can go an entire day with out my phone ringing once and without taking the headphones out of my ears. I'm not married and I live alone. My apartment is small and cramped so I don't invite people over often. I pick a sport that is highly individualized (or, as individualized as I make it) and poor all of my energy into it. But, for whatever reason, I'm yearning desperately for someone who gets it. And I don't necessarily mean running and I don't necessarily mean romantic...just a deep longing to be really known by someone tangible.
I don't know. I'm internalizing and wrestling around inside my own head a lot more than usual and I have the sinking feeling I'm about to enter into the midst of some change, even though I can't put my finger on exactly what that change will bring.
Heavy stuff for a Monday night, eh? Man, I wish I could go out for a run! I feel like a puppy that's been cooped up in the house for too long. Somebody take me around the block and tire out my brain! And my body!
6 comments:
Oh Kate. I think this must be a case of the "tapers" - hang in there and remember WE get it, but I know that isn't always the same. Maybe the big change is you can add MARATHONER to your life list. Keep yourself busy and stay healthy. You're getting close.
Hang in there... I find comfort in trying to remember to take things one day at a time, one mile at a time... and having faith that, eventually, everything will fall into place.
11 days and you'll be running your heart out...hang in there, it will be here sooner than you think!
Let me get my leash... Haha! Just kidding. I'll come take you for a walk, though it's a bit far from here.
While I would like to say it's taper madness it really sounds like stuff that goes on in my head and I'm not tapering. I just try to find something I like to do and do that. It's hard since you can't run, but other hobbies that have worked for me (because they are individualized) are knitting and reading. Doing one of those usually makes me feel better. A bit old fashioned, but that's me.
My take on your post is that this "running thing" has changed you, deep inside where it really counts. While you were incresing miles you were able to keep the focus on that. With your spare time you are able to make some discoveries of your change.
Make a list of what/who you want to draw into your life and read it everyday. If nothing else, it will fill up some of your taper time, and it just might bring that person/people into your life.
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